Wednesday, August 31, 2011

A Turtle Hump'n a Ball.....WAIT is that TURTLE D*CK?!?!?!? WTH?!?!


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OMG OMG OMG (I just threw up in my mouth)!!! This is the nastiest shit I've ever seen in my life! Who'da thought something so little, so MEEK, would have a johnson like that!!!!! DUDE... A TURTLE IS HUNG!!!! EWWWWWWWWWWW, and did u see it?!?!?!? It's fugging ugly as hell! It looks like the fucking alien resurrection! EWWLK, it looked like it was fucking breathing man (OH GOD.....HAND OVER MY MOUTH.....I'm gonna EARL!!) I swear I will never frickin look at a turtle the same.......DAT SHITS HELLA NASTY!!! There goes call'n lil "meat" turtle d*cks!!!! 



Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Iphone Autocorrect Malfunctions.........LMFAO!!!

So apparently there is this website called www.damnyouautocorrect.com, where people post text messages they've sent via their iphone, and the autocorrect'r changed a word or two within the text to what it thought it should be! Talk about some embarrassing yet funny ass shit.....Take a look!!!!!!!   










CTFU!!!! The first one is funny as shit! Can u imagine getting some shit like that from ur Daddy?!?!?!? Like how the hell do you respond to that????? I'da prolly just ignored it like I never even got a text! LOL LOL LOL LOL  

Monday, August 29, 2011

Single Again....Back on the Prowl.............

Shot out to my homegirl…….on her new found independence! After 14 years of marriage……she’s single again…back on the prowl (in my Trina voice….hips rolling to the music)!! When I asked her how it feels to be single after all those years, she replied, “It's like a refresher course of life. Now I can define who Toya is. For so long I've accommodated everyone else's feelings and expectations. For once I'm putting my needs and wants above all the rest!” I KNOW THAT’S RIGHT!!!! DO THE DAYUM THING GIRL!! Self should always come first! It’s impossible to make someone else happy if you are not happy! Once you’ve identified whats keeping you unhappy, u have to face it dead on…..DON'T RUN FROM IT…..Because it won’t go away. It follows you. You have to remove it and make that change! And once you’ve changed…… everything and everyone around you will change too! But it all starts with SELF!!!! After 14 years ma, consider that shit time PAID IN FULL!!!! I love u, Lady T….MWAH!!!!



Sunrise: 8/28/1958
Sunset: 6/25/2009
Gone But Never Forgotten
R.I.P

Jay's Boys Can Swim..... An Addition to the Knowles-Carter Empire!!

YES I AM still on Bey and Mr. Carter expecting!!! They are my most FAVORITEST people! If u don’t like it…..GET OFF MY BLOG!!!! LMAO!! But seriously I am so fricking excited! I was standing on the couch last night when she preformed! She definitively STOLE the VMA’s last night! Nothing else mattered after that performance (@ least not to me!!!) LMFAO that’s all the WORLD was buzzing about…..who cares who came on or won an award after THAT! B KILT THAT SHIT! As she taunted the audience by telling them, “I want you to stand up on your feet. I want you to feel the love that's growing inside me."………………..THREW DOWN THE MIC and popped open her sparkly jacket and exposed her Belly Bump to the world!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! Jay watched on CHEESING LIKE A PROUD POPPA, as Kanye dapped him up, (in my Jay Z voice) “YEA NIC, MY BOYS CAN SWIM….I DID THAT!!!!!!” LMFAO! I fricking LOVE IT!! U can’t get no higher than that! The two of them together is INSPIRATION…. the empire they share (and are still building) as two young African Americans is phenomenal! Jay Z is more than just a rapper….in fact at this point I’d say rapping is just a HOBBY for him now…..granted its where he started it’s HARDLY what pays his bills and keeps him rubbing shoulders with A(++) listers!  To be a nic from Marcy projects to the man he is now is TRULY only something one can DREAM about! I bet he pinches himself everyday! Lemme break it down for those of you who DO NOT understand who these two really are…..Just cuz your famous doesn’t make you an “A LISTER” U have to cross a certain threshold to be considered  (bending my “quotation fingers”) an “A LISTER”……..Puffy, Diddy (whomever the hell he is this year..LOL), is hardly considered an A lister he is more so in the B category….Weezy he’s an A lister (but in a different caliber…) but JAYZ and BEYONCE they are A+ listers……..they hang with Gwyneth and Chris, Brads and Angelinas…. B and Jay get invited to events at the WHITE HOUSE! B sang at the Inaugural Ball maaaaaaaaan!! And B…......well people can say what they want bout her but truth be told EVERYTHING THAT BITCH DO IS BAD!!!!! She is an ARTIST and real artist can’t be tamed inside a box!!! If you remain the same with the same sound, the same look, etc year after year HOW THE HELL CAN YOU CALL YOURSELF AN ARTIST?!?!? An Artist is defined as a person who CREATES!  And she continuously  invites you to tune your ears into a DIFFERENT kind of sound……..Some of her songs sound like AFRICAN MUSIC, COUNTRY MUSIC, ALTERNATIVE, I can go ON AND ON. You may not like them (the songs) when u first hear them……..…BUT ONCE THAT B GIVES U A VISUAL (a video or a performance…) YOU GOTTA LOVE THAT SHIT!!! Her style is ON POINT, da B is just B….A…D!!! She is FLY effortlessly!!! REAL TALK…… You can HATE all u want to and they have their fair share of haters but at the end of the day when u sit back and think about what the two of them have accomplished TOGETHER and as individuals………..You aint got no choice but to RESPECT THEY GANGSTA!!!!!! End of story……………. BUT I still can’t believe it! Congratulations 100x’s OVER!! Talk about being born with a “silver spoon” in your mouth!!!!!!!!!! TOODLES!



Sunday, August 28, 2011

BEYONCE IS FINALLY PREGNANT!!!!! YAAAAAAAAY!!!

Beyonce and Jay Z are expecting their first child together!!! yaaaay Im so fricking happppppy! I feel like I know them! She announced the news as she rocked her baby bump on the red carpet at the VMAs!!!! You know she goin be the flyest dressed pregnant bitch on the PLANET!!! LOL LOL YEA! Congrats Mr. and Mrs. Carter!!!! (cheesing super hard!!!!!)


Saturday, August 27, 2011

REAL FLASH MOB DANCE IN TARGET......

WTH?!?!?!? Flash Mob dancing is real?!?!?! So wut I'm late but I always thought that was some crap made up for TV. For those of you who don't know a Flash Mob is a large group of people who gather at a public location to perform a pre-defined action, typically a brief dance, and disperse rapidly after the event has concluded. Target shoppers were in for a treat when this flash mob took over the isles dancing to Beyonce's, "End of Time".............it's kinda fly!!! The main guy in the video is Todrick Hall....he was on American Idol. In any event this guys goes around Flash Mob'n in random stores! Me and the kids goin make up a dance and Flash Mob to D'banj "Oliver Twist" in the Walmart off Monument!!!!! FTFO!!!!!!